


not so smooth criminal

by tinyelectricguitar



Series: not so smooth criminal [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternative Universe - FBI, Art Thief Charles, Crack, Criminal Informant Charles, FBI Agent Sebastian Vettel, Fluff, M/M, Song: Africa (Toto), this au is so dumb but i love it more than life itself, white collar au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28921278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyelectricguitar/pseuds/tinyelectricguitar
Summary: Agent Vettel and CI Leclerc are in business. CI Leclerc just wants to have fun. This is bad news for everyone involved.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Sebastian Vettel
Series: not so smooth criminal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121216
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	not so smooth criminal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [supersoft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/supersoft/gifts).



A dark interrogation room, sparse. A beautiful man is handcuffed to the table. He is smirking. An FBI agent walks in.

Seb: Well, Leclerc, what are we going to do with you?

_charles: you can’t prove anything. i always win._

Seb: I’ll concede, usually this dance ends with you walking out. But today’s different, ask me why.

_charles: i have a feeling you’ll tell me anyway_

Seb: Humor me.

_charles: alright Sebby, why?_

Seb: This time. This time we got you before you had finished deleting the footage, Charles.

_charles: impossible._

Seb starts humming “Africa” by Toto as he switches on a TV. Charles squawks indignantly.

Seb: My personal favourite part of the video is when you take your balaclava to check yourself out —

_charles: STOP THE VIDEO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS —_

Seb: but the part where you sing about blessing the rains down in Africa while you cut the painting out of the frame is a close second—

_charles: STOP IT I CONFESS I CONFESS SWITCH IT OFF_

Seb: I thought you might say that :-)

_charles: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME_

Seb: Well, you can either go to jail—

_charles: SEBASTIAN NO I’M TOO PRETTY FOR JAIL_

Seb: Or…

_charles: PLEASE_

Seb: You can work with us as a criminal informant.

_charles: (groaning) work?? can I think about it?_

Seb: No, Charles.

_charles: do I get to be your partner :)_

Seb: Well, not partner but yes you’ll work with me.

_charles: I’M IN :)_

Seb: (confused) Okay, I’ll get the paperwork ready—

_charles: do I get a gun :)_

Seb: No, Charles.

_charles: do I get diplomatic immunity :)_

Seb: No, Charles.

_charles: do I—_

Sebastian is now the unofficial world record holder for the world’s longest sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> charles: i am a very cool and real criminal 
> 
> seb: *sliding across a manila folder bursting with evidence of charles being an idiot* sounds fake but okay
> 
> charles: *indignant squawking*
> 
> -
> 
> come yell at me about F1 and the zoom zoom boys at maxspeeds.tumblr.com!


End file.
